Here I am at last at the beginning of August, one month out
from the start of my Camino. I haven’t written anything here for several
months. During that time I’ve been training my body with longer walks and
intensive strengthening workouts, and I’ve been weighing each piece of my gear,
making choices, changing my mind, making other choices, wondering, questioning,
weighing, always weighing. I think it’s the bane of the Camino pilgrim, trying
to find a lighter and lighter pack. I’ve tried several different sleeping bags
before settling on one, a couple of different fleece jackets, two different
rain pants (I settled on the lighter of the two, even though I preferred the
other one), and on and on. I suspect that this weighing and considering and
opinion changing will continue up to the day of my departure.
July was a
difficult month for me. It held the third anniversary of the death of my
beloved husband John. And then, out of the blue, with no forewarning, one of my
dearest friends, of more than 40 years, died suddenly from a ruptured brain
aneurysm. I’ve spent the month in shock and sorrow. It was this very friend who
first told me about Camino, who walked The Way for about 10 days with a church
group years ago. But now she’s gone, and I can’t tell her about my own Camino,
when I walk it. What I can do, and will do, is to carry her with me, as I will
carry the spirit of my husband John, trying to come to some understanding of
the loss I feel, and hoping that I’ll find a way to rise above the sorrow to a
greater understanding of what death is. I don’t know if that’s possible or not.
But I’ll walk and see. What will this Camino have to teach me?
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